I just don't understand why aren't we meant for each other... It's really uneasy to be with him. He's so far from Hong Kong and I'm always alone here in Hong Kong. Having a boyfriend is just like not having one. It's really difficult how we always have to fight for little things... I'm just really tired, really tired to believe that we will be together for the rest of our life even when his parents don't like me and people telling me that we are not meant for each other... How can we stay together peacefully, without having so much conflicts. I don't know how to do that...

20.10.08 17:25 Permalink / comment

Lost... It's not healthy how the relationship between me and Aaron has became so unhappy. We've been arguing every week. We blamed each other and praised how much we have done for each other. I don't like it either. I know I always start arguments, but they are not unreasonable. I was just telling him what I want... Is that too greedy to want something...? And even if I don't get what I want, can I at least get some comfort for not getting it? I was to blame all the time. We have to talk on msn all the time. Msn is definitely not a suitable tool for us to communicate with each other. He has interpreted my conversation into something else that I haven't even thought about. Sometimes when the conversation has reached to some point where we both can't compromise anymore, I only want a hug so that I can let out all my saddness. Just one hug... how can we do that with msn?... An emoticon is not what I need.

19.7.08 18:33 Permalink / comment

Can't believe it's Friday already... I've started working at the family business for a week already. Until now, I don't really like it. The reason behind is I'm doing bookkeeping stuff and darn this is a boring job. However, I have to admit that there are lots of things to learn. Things such as how to file thsoe documents, where should you put those transactions into the computer accounting program and how to prepare the salary and tax related issues... and most of all the CASH issues... getting people who touched the cash to sign documents here and there. Afterall, I'm just a fresh graduate who had no experience with bookkeeping at all. It's stressful in a way because there are creditors constantly calling for money... well, cashflow is not healthy here... Other issue is I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing and screw up on something. Alan suggested that I was putting on too much pressure on myself... but honestly, I won't feel as stressful if I'm working for someone else, afterall, my family relies on the business and if I did something wrong, I'm killing the income of the whole family. But if I was to work for someone, the worst is I'd be fired and they'd hire someone else to fix the mess.

20.7.07 04:27 Permalink / 1 Comment / comment

VERY UNHAPPY... WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT OFF THOSE 5LBS? I DON'T WANT IT...

5.7.07 16:48 Permalink / comment

超唔开心。。。 等o左成个星期... 仲以为有得一齐去南丫岛... 点知得个吉 点解成日都我想o既... 永远做唔到...

29.6.07 16:13 Permalink / comment

這個世界,有時都可以幾無情! 咳，好灰！ I was pretty naive to believe that treating people good will at least gain a good reputation to the people I was being good to. It worked with Fai's mom. I wanted to be nice to her because I believed I should, first receive good reputation so she'll like me too, second she was my bf's mom so I should show some respect to her. Unfortunately, I was too naive to think that I could do the same thing to Aaron's parents... All they gave me back was an encouragement to Aaron to have multiple girlfriends. Infact, I was not really angry or anything similar to that because I knew Aaron will not do that to me. Afterall, the way I've always lived is to do things that I think it's the best for my boyfriend, if I was to receive a betrayal in return, there's nothing I can do about it. Instead of being angry, I was instead very 無奈... 無奈 because I can't think of anything that I did wrong and misappropriate to both the parents or Aaron... I tried baking cookies and being nice so at least, they won't dislike me, but in return, they think I'm not good enough for their son that he should have more CHOICES. Back then, when I was with Fai. Indeed, Fai's mom liked me a lot. She bought me things when she came back from a trip to LA with Fai. I remembered it very well. She bought this Tommy Hilfiger bag that both Fai and I thought it was very 老套, but I've at least used it once because I want her to know that I appreciate that... It's not like I want a present in return, but all I want is just appreciation. Other than 無奈, I was pretty disappointed too... Because trying to be nice to them, I'll receive 無情的對待...不過我又可以點。。。你大方不等於其他人要接受！！不過我唔做d你不仁我不儀0既嘢，因為Aaron會好難做。攝o係中好辛苦嫁。。。 咳！~ 如果許o地得我真係唔好，咁希望有個好d0既女仔快d出來啦吓。。。不過真係要睇吓有無咁多女仔頂得顺許兩老。。。唔該尊重吓人同埋理吓人0既感受啊。

8.6.07 09:43 Permalink / comment

Mom's finally coming back on Friday... Waken up at 6:30 this morning because one of the puppies was crying... I couldn't fall asleep again until an hour later... I called mom when I was still in bed trying to sleep again... She told me to put the doggie in my room so it will stopped crying... That's silly... I left the puppy in its box and finally it has stopped crying after an hour... and that's when I fell asleep again. Hm... Over the past 23 years of my life, I've never been complained for being stinky... Here's what happened today. Aaron called at around 12 sth and asked me to go out to TST to have lunch with him. So I tried to leave home as soon as possible. As I took the elevator and was leaving the building, the security guard stopped me. He told me that the neighbour was complaining that my apartment smells, and asked if I've sent away the doggies =.=" Oh god, the apartment stinks... I know it stinks too, how could it not smell bad if my stupid dog is peeing everywhere, and those puppies are peeing in the box all the time, and at the same time, the doggies haven't had a shower for at least three weeks... I was pretty depressed with the complaint... However, I was, on the other hand, surprised that the neighbour didn't complain the puppies to be noisy instead, but I guess because they always play mah jong next door, so they are actually much more noisy all the time!! Aaron had to be in Kwai Fong at 2:30 and when I was in TST, it was 1 already... So I suggested to go to Kwai Fong instead... After a stupidly expensive lunch at Delifrance, Aaron took a taxi to the place he has to go and I left Kwai Fong to buy more diapers for the stupid doggies... "Honestly, I've never hated doggies so much... but they are so damn annoying!!" The first thing I did once I got home was to take a shower for Ling Lok, then a shower for Dau dau, mopped the floor and sprayed Febreeze everywhere that could possibly be smelly, that includes the box that the puppies are in. I cleaned all 7 puppies with dettol... I really hate doing these stuff over and over again. Other than that, I did more laundry... Hm... when can I stopped being a domestic helper... I'm tired~

6.6.07 10:30 Permalink / comment

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